Monday, March 9, 2009

Initial R & J Thoughts

Why are relationships so difficult? What makes relationships fall apart? What are qualities of successful relationships?

19 comments:

MariahF said...

Relationships are difficult because it takes a lot of sacrifice. When in a relationship you are not so much and individual as you are part of a couple. I think when the balance between being yourself and being part of a we is messed up then relationships fail. Qualities of a successful relationship are being able to act as one, being honest with yourself as a couple.

emmaw said...

Relationships are a hugely difficult thing to be sucessfull in, there are so many aspects of it that have to find the right blance. Many of the difficulties that those involved in a realtionship must overcome involve communication, compatibility, circumstances, and character. And the difficulty with these is finding the right one that fits specifically to the other person.
Relationships require effort from both parties, and with out this effort a realtionship can fall apart. Other factors that can weaken or make a relationship fail include; fidelity, distance, cummunication, trust, attitude or behavior, the inability to overcome differences, oand responsibility. Often is it more that than just one reason that causes a realtionship to fail, but rather a combonation of many that weaken it and one that breaks it.
A sucessful relationship requires many things and can be completely different in two relationships. the basic frame for most sucessful relationships though is trust, respect, honesty, understanding, cooperation, to forgive, and love.
I find generlaizing and summerizing relationships difficult, because there is so much that is on a personal bases that changes with every relationship.

jordanp said...

I agree with Mariah in a relationship you have to sacrafice things to remain a couple, and compromise what you think sometimes to work with your partner. You also have to learn about a different person as more than a friend and worry a lot about how fast to move the relationship and what your partner wants. One relaationship is not the same as the next, just like every person is different you can't become better at it as you go through relationships because each of them is different in what they want in the relationship and what they are like as a person. I also agree with Emma that you can't have a relaitionship with out working with the other party which is part of the reasons relationships are difficult is that you can't control what they are thinkining or what they want. Also you both have to be working together on a relationship for it to be sucessfull or you'll end up with very little comunication.

HunterK said...

Relationships are so difficult because people are self-centered and narcissistic by nature. In a successful relationship, as far as I can tell, partners need to love the other equally or greater than they love themselves. When this is accomplished the rest will fall into place. However, when this requirement is not met, relationships will likely fall apart from lack of sacrifice. Just like a successful compromise, each party in a relationship needs to sacrifice something to make it work.

ruthp said...

I agree with Hunter, that relationships can be tough if a person acts selfish, because it can’t be all about you, it has to be about the other person as well. Communication can greatly influence a relationship and without it they’re doomed. Self centered people, a lack of communication, and difficult circumstances can make a relationship fall apart. If you can never see the person, because of difficult circumstances then that relationship isn’t going to last. When two people love the other more than they love themselves, they have a strong connection and they communicate they will have a strong and successful relationship.

shannenr said...
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shannenr said...

I think Mariah makes a great point, relationships are about making each other happpy and sometimes that takes sacrifice. Relationships are difficult because they are so different and they affect the people in them in many different and strange ways. When people in relationships lose communication their relationships suffer. Communications is key because it helps them understand eachother. In a sucessful relationshipnip there is also trust and attitude towards eachother. Infidelidy can also ruin a relationship because it violates trust in the relationship. In a sucessful relationship there is also a balance in every asspect of the relationship.

ellyf said...

Relationships are so difficult because nobody is the same. Everybody is different and the other side of the relationship cannot change that. Like Mariah said, in a relationship you are in it together with the other person. It is not meant to be individual or selfish. Relationships fall apart when the two people don't agree on many topics or they don't have communication. Communication is key in a relationship and if you don't have it, the other person will not know what to do because they cannot read what is going through the others head. Also, honesty is key in a relationship. Trust must be there in order to make ends meet. If you can't trust the other person that is not a strong relationship. You must be able to rely and depend on the other person to be there and not leave you hanging. If they leave you hanging how will you ever trust them. You will have to communicate that with them. The qualities of a sucessful relationship is trust and communication. Like mentioned above, you must have both of these critical qualities in order to have a good strong long relationship.

Mollyo said...

I agree with Mariah in the fact that relationships are very difficult due to the massive amount of sacrifice that needs to take place. For a very independent person, it can sometimes be hard to always have someone there, while for some others, it would be easier. Relationships sometimes fall apart because of the expectations people require of them today. Relationships have a certain expectation, and if people don't fulfill those expectations, then conflict may take place. It is all about being compatible, and with certain people it may be hard to find similarities between the two. In order to have a successful relationship, a couples must be able to feel comfortable with one another and must have great communication. Like Ellyf, I agree that communication is key.

ThomasL said...

Relationships are very difficult because they require a mutual understanding of the knowledge a strong relationship must obtain. Many relationships are not successful simply because one person in the relationship is unable to undergo the sacrifice and understanding a person needs while in a relationship. Qualities of a strong relationship are having the capability to be understanding, caring, and at times being able to step into someone else's shoes and see things from a different perspective.

Alex K said...

I think that relationships are so difficult because it takes such a large ammount of sacrafice and understanding. They also require a significant ammount of compromise. The reason that it is so hard for people to have successful relations is that, by nature, people do not like to give up power and fall under the control of another. For a relationship to be successful and enjoyable both parties have to cooperate. They have to be able to read and react to the other.Another quality of a good relationship is the fact that the partners should not have to give up too much for the other and should be able to be them self without much change.

Bronson said...

There are multiple generic pitfalls to many relationships. The first, and the one that kills a vast majority, is a lack of trust with the other person. Many people have deep trust issues, and have problems being vulnerable with even the person they love. The origin of these issues generally comes from past experiences in relationships both romantic and otherwise. THe person with this lack of faith believes that if they don't guard his or herself that they will get hurt. This attitude defeats the purpose of the loving, sharing relationship. Another large pitfall is not knowing how to deal with your love, ad letting it either consume you, to the point of extreme jealousy or over zealous passion, that drives the other person to a point where they feel they can no longer be with you. Obviously there are more factors, such as the people surrounding a person, society, or other random occurneces, but the two above are where many relationships and marriages come to a breaking point.

MelissaC said...

Relationships are so difficult because most of a relationship is in the mind and because relationships take a lot of commitment. Relationships fall apart when someone doesn't feel strongly enough about the other, that they don't even want to put in all that effort and commitment to keep the relationship going. Qualities of a successful relationship are things like connecting well with each other, being close, communicating and being honest, and, most importantly to me, having the willingness and desire to commit to the relationship.

nicoles said...

Relationships are difficult for several key reasons. I believe that in the current technological era, there have been many changes to the way people view communication, and its worth has been reevaluated. This is because these tools, such as texting, email, facebook, myspace, and many more have given human beings the ability to contact others without actually meeting them face to face. I think that this allows us to connect quicker, but it does not have the same effect as actually meeting someone in person and having a conversation with them.

Also, when two people are in a relationship, they have different wants and needs which cannot always be supplied by the other individual. They may become frustrated and eventually end up quitting on the bond they once had with the other person. I think that it is human nature to want to disagree with others sometimes, and to argue your point, no matter how rude, until you have made yourself very clear. Also, relationships fall apart when the interest, love and understanding has been lost within its capacity. It takes two to hold a strong relationship, and if only one person is working on it, it is possible that it could easily fail. What really makes me sad is the fact that so many divorces take place every year. Half of my friends have parents that are divorced. I really wish this was not true.

However, there are several qualities of a successful relationship. In order to have one of these, the individuals participating must try to love and care for one another, even if it means making a few sacrifices here and there. Also, they need to make sure they support each other, and listen to what the other has to say, no matter how much they disagree.

kylees said...

The hardest part of a relationship is the trust. Especially at a younger age. There are so many outside temptations that one has to resist. And you have to trust that the other person in the relationship WILL resist that temptation. Also, you have to trust that person to love you back. A lot of times, one person starts falling harder than the other. That can be make the one person feel terrible for falling harder, and the other person feel overwhelmed because they do not have the same feelings. When you are in a relationship with someone, you are giving them all of your heart and your feelings and you have to trust that they will be responsible with them. That is probably the hardest part of a relationship. And when the other person is not respectful of that trust is when a relationship will fall apart. After someones trust has been broken in a relationship, it is very, very hard to get that back or get back to how the relationship was. That is something that is very hard to put behind you. So the strongest, most critical factor of a relationship is trust. Without it, nothing will work out.

bryce said...

Like Kylee said, trust is a big part in relationships. And like Mariah and most people have said before you are not so much an individual when your in a relationship. Relationships are tough at our age because like we talked about in class we have insecerities and are more worried about our problems than problems as a couple.

Elaine's Blog said...
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Elaine's Blog said...

Relationships are complex by all means. It does not only take sacrificing on your part, but also the person who is in the relationship with you. As everyone said, trust and communication are probably the key elements of a relationship in order for it to succeed. What makes it difficult though is letting oneself go to let another come into one's life. Accepting another human being and creating time for that person is difficult. The person's attitude may also be difficult to handle, therefore making the relationship possibly fall apart. But not all relationships are going to be perfect. There will be a good and bad time during the relationship in which both genders have to experience. Misunderstanding is a big role in this situation. Being honest to not only you, but to the other person is also hard to grasp. One may say that "yes, i love him/her" but we, as human beings, have the qualities that make us do something that can possibly shatter the relationship. Some qualities that make a successful relationship were mentioned by Emma and many others. Love, cooperation, trust, communication, understanding... that's all part of the big idea of what a successful relationships consists of. The question that all couples try to answer is can the magic between us still stay. Is it possible that I have not given enough in this relationship. Have I not put enough effort into this? So many questions have been asked by young couples even after marriage that may come to the final decision, divorce. But divorce is not all about if there is magic. It is about how the person decides to act when not shown in public. He/she might be a great person in public, but a monster when out of public. But the hardest thing for couples in a relationship is accepting one another for the qualities that he/she has because everyone is different and just letting go. One can't always see things from his/her perspective... they have to see from the others... and that is possibly the hardest thing to do for most because empathy is a very hard feeling to grasp.

christinah said...

I think it's ahrd for teenagers especially to be in a relationship, because at such a young age both boys and girls are still maturing. You have to also think abou that there is definetley a difference between what a guy wants in a relationship and whata girl wants. It may sometimes be hard because your differences may cause problems and at this age sometimes we don't know how to handle that yet. kinda of like what happened with Chris Brown and Rhianna. ther has been a lot of disscussion lately on that, because of the issue of teen violence has arisen.
It's hard for all ages to sometimes stay commited and to keep trust in each other. there wil be times when you just won't get along, you have to be strong and willing to keep that relationship, but sometimes things just don't work out and thats ok. I also agree with Mariah that it does take alot of sacrifice. But relationships are always fun.